Our deepest drive isn’t survival — it’s togetherness. In this clip, Dr. Gordon Neufeld explains emotion as Nature’s way of taking care of our most basic need: attachment. When something goes wrong, our first impulse is to seek our people — Where’s mom? Where’s dad? Where’s my family? — even if it means moving toward danger rather than away from it. Emotion, in his words, serves attachment. It rises most strongly when separation is faced and works to close the gap between us. When we see behaviou
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Our deepest drive isn’t survival — it’s togetherness. In this clip, Dr. …
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Dr. Gordon Neufeld on our flagship course (starts this Friday!): "The Intensive I is labeled 'making sense of kids' because it's an insight approach; you're looking to how nature works, and how we can serve as midwives to that process. It's completely different than other approaches because they're all outcome-based. You're always trying to shape behaviour. It's a hugely relieving course actually; to know what is our role, what is Nature's role, to have an understanding of what the developmental
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Dr. Gordon Neufeld on our flagship course (starts this Friday!): "The I…
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Defiance isn’t disobedience—but a natural instinct. Dr. Gordon Neufeld uses the term counterwill, borrowed from psychoanalyst Otto Rank, to describe the innate human instinct to resist being controlled by those we’re not attached to. This resistance isn't a flaw. It’s part of our design. Children aren’t born to blindly follow orders—no matter how well-intended. The real issue isn't misbehavior; it’s disconnection. When a child is attached, they are moved to follow our lead. But when attachment i
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Defiance isn’t disobedience—but a natural instinct. Dr. Gordon Neufel…
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“Children must never work for our love. They must rest in it.” - Gordon Neufeld. Many of us have made the same mistakes. We have said things like: "I can’t be your friend if you’re going to be like that. Off to your room. I withdraw the invitation to exist in my presence…" Everyday interactions like this can place children in charge of preserving the connection. Too often, they find themselves working for the relationship—holding on when that role was never meant to be theirs. The restlessness t
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“Children must never work for our love. They must rest in it.” - Gordo…
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God doesn’t need us! As we study the nature of God, we must understand that He is entirely self-sufficient. He didn’t create us and invite us into relationship with Him because He was lonely. He doesn’t call us to partner with Him because He needs us. We don’t do anything for God, He does everything for us! In this second message from “The Nature of God”, Dr. John Neufeld looks at Isaiah 40, using Scripture to gain clarity about God’s true nature. Watch “The Altogether Glorious God” at https://y
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God doesn’t need us! As we study the nature of God, we must under…
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"Shyness has become pathologized as social anxiety, by individuals who do not understand shyness at all ... Shyness is nature's natural way of protecting existing attachments. It shows up about five months of age. The first term for shyness is stranger protest. And nature says; 'Okay, this child has got the attachments they need. Now we gotta develop them and we're gonna protect this child from attaching to anyone else. Now they can only attach to the people mom and dad are attached to.' And thi
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"Shyness has become pathologized as social anxiety, by individuals w…
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“Every single emotion has its reason. It may be irrational, but the brain has its reasons.” — Dr. Gordon Neufeld We often treat emotion as a problem to manage rather than nature’s way of moving us when something isn’t working. Children are told to calm down, get control, not be so “stirred up” — and in the process, their feelings don’t get heard, expressed, or made sense of. In his course The Science of Emotion, Dr. Neufeld explores how frustration, alarm, and other emotions are meant to serve d
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